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Tuesday, March 27, 2007

I dunno where to start. I gave it much thought yesterday night and I really phased it out as the taxi sped away from Bedok South. After sending that "LOST GIRL" home, I began my thoughts on another lost girl.

Someone who is in doubt about her friends and all.

Why do you give me reasons to hate you when you know that deep down I still have feelings for you?

Yeah so M has passed and now D is in. It's just everytime I think about how fast you seem to get guys that makes me broken inside. But what am I going to do about it? Sit there count grass and cry?

Heck, life moves on in the day. But at night, it's vulnerable cause it's when I get sleepless nights and I recall most of the stuff that we did in 2006. I torment myself but there is no other thing I can do.

Do I still have feelings?
Never lost it.

Do I have confidence?
Yes.

Do I still have hope?
Losing it fast.

Who knows? The future is a beautiful realm, yet a scary platform to step into. Better than living in the dreams. Dreams which have people gasping for breath at 6 in the morning, dreams which confuse people and dreams that make one feel shitted up.

It's weird that you are trying to make us hate you. Like a hidden agenda or forced hatedness. Things can get misunderstood and all, but the point is you are trying to be the guilty party.

So what you gain from all this? Pleasure? You know as well as I do that I can't treat you like how I used to. 1 jealousy, 2 you are not always with us. But does that mean you're out of the group? No!

I don't understand. With brains like that, I thought you would have been smarter. You were always advising Xuewei about her things. So what happened when it came to yours?

Is this karma afterall?

Carrying your name, close to me.
11:40 PM