Ok this is my 100th post! And it's also sort of like a ending post lah. Something sad yet happy. Something paradoxical.

Here goes.

Hey I know we were close to the point that we were even buddies. I appreciate that alot cause I really didn't know girls have guy buddies. So maybe I was late in telling you my feelings but at least I finally did. I wanted to tell you in 2007 when we got our results but I guess it was not meant to be.

I fell for you first in Sec.3 but I dilly and dally then end up screw my own life up. But when I liked other girls, I didnt lose hope that one day MAYBE it could happen between us. Now it all seems like a damn big laugh. As the months went on and I began to see your qualities, I was really amazed that we had nearly same qualities and goals. I will be lying if I wished you well for you and him but I won't be so "Sour-Grapes" to curse you two. All I say is be happy and smile.

I am driven by the fact we live only once. Thats why I find it a big regret not to actually tell you that I had feel about you and then suddenly you're with him. Although most people marvel at your choice in conversations, I tell them that it's your choice. Afterall, you liked him since damn long already.

Through the months, I sat quietly and only gave small hints and watched as you celebrated your birthday. What I did looked special but surely there is nothing more special than spending time with him. So I guess, I was chasing a lost cause all the while. Thats when I almost wanted to give up and wanted to write my confession to you.

Honestly, I wouldn't know where I will be if it ain't for your support and your nonsense sometimes. You lit up my life damn brightly, perhaps even blowing the fuse off. But I know that after today, things will go back to normal.

So I guess life moves on. Without you. And don't worry after some time apart I'll be back. I just need some time off first. NOT TO CRY..but to contemplate a few things again.

At the end of the day, I will not forget you nor erase you from my memory. Too hard already. Permanent. At least I did something I can be proud of.

WALK GIRL HOME FOR 1 AND 1/4 YEARS!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

After that hour today, I smiled as I boarded the bus. I felt as though a huge relief just swept through me. I can't explain the feeling that I had but it was just awesome.

Alot of people say I slow. Hahaha. I say if Fate decides better things for you, girl, then perhaps It was right to have delayed me. I am sad that it's about to end yet happy cause there is a new chapter. Don't always quarrell with him. He loves you afterall, doesn't he?

With unrequited loves, Your buddy.

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100th post. I really write a lot of cock-and-bull story here right? But at the end of the day, 1 life. Don't expect to know a Mark Zheng in your next life. Neither will I know you.

Anyway, cheers for the New Year. Oh and please flood all your friends handphone with new year messages at 11.55-11.59 tomorrow night.

=D Cheers to a beautiful Saturday afternoon.

Carrying your name, close to me.
4:38 PM